Wikipolicy Adviser: An Argument Against The Very Possibility Of Randy Scheunemann’s Existence
Jul 31, 202045.2K Shares1.5M Views
I’m late in seeing this, but LOLOLOLOL John McCain basically cut and pastedhis bellicose posturing on Georgia/Russia/South Ossetiafrom Wikipedia. Lots of people have had fun with this, but I think it has a deeper significance. Namely: I don’t believe senior McCain foreign-policy adviser Randy Scheunemann actually exists. I believe Randy Scheunemann is the human face of a series of Wikipedia searches. An actor portrays the character of “Randy Scheunemann” to keep the truth from coming out. Let’s explore how this works:
- Randy Scheunemann is comically corrupt. Matt Duss at ThinkProgress’ Wonk Room has done the real work here. The Alleged Scheunemann is a lobbyist for the Republic of Georgiawho made his firm $2 million off the Rose Revolutionand in the process firmed up McCain’s ossified anti-Russian sensibilities. *This just can’t be real. *John McCain is not a dim bulb. He would not hire someone with such an obvious conflict of interest. Alleged Scheunemann is merely a ploy to keep the Russians guessing.
- Randy Scheunemann is a friend of Ahmed Chalabi. You know, the once and future midget-king of Baghdad? The Iranian “liaison” who manipulated credulous neocons and presidentsinto getting the U.S. mired in an un-winnable conflict? Again, John McCain is not a stupid man. He knows better than to keep someone close to Chalabi in his inner circle. Instead, he’s just trying not to hurt Chalabi’s feelings. Why be a jerk, you know? If there was ever an actual Scheunemann, he was killed by a Russian operative long ago, and McCain is exploiting the opportunity Scheunemann’s newly available identity presents. Laurie Mylroiecan probably explain it.
- **Randy Scheunemannis a D-List neocon. **Like, really? Was Michael Rubin returning videotapes when the McCain campaign called? The staff of Commentarytoo busy arguing over something they read in The New Criterionon the 4 train? One more time: John McCain is not a fool, and he would not hire a neocon of non-distinction who would only just make the campaign look like a laughing stock. Lots of people were dumb enough to back the war, but most of them can at least get calls returned from opinion-page editors.
In conclusion, “Randy Scheuenemann” does not exist, and Wikipedia presently earns $70,000 a year for imparting poorly-thought-through foreign policy advice for John McCain.
Dexter Cooke
Reviewer
Dexter Cooke is an economist, marketing strategist, and orthopedic surgeon with over 20 years of experience crafting compelling narratives that resonate worldwide.
He holds a Journalism degree from Columbia University, an Economics background from Yale University, and a medical degree with a postdoctoral fellowship in orthopedic medicine from the Medical University of South Carolina.
Dexter’s insights into media, economics, and marketing shine through his prolific contributions to respected publications and advisory roles for influential organizations.
As an orthopedic surgeon specializing in minimally invasive knee replacement surgery and laparoscopic procedures, Dexter prioritizes patient care above all.
Outside his professional pursuits, Dexter enjoys collecting vintage watches, studying ancient civilizations, learning about astronomy, and participating in charity runs.
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