Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) (Flickr, Twinkletoez)
Sen. John McCain, the presumed Republican presidential nominee, made a dramatic surprise appearance tonight at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. Constant aide Sen. Joe Lieberman was at his heels as usual, but was unable to catch the Arizona Republican before he strode to the podium for what he evidently thought was his official acceptance of the GOP nomination.
The chorus of lusty boos from a l00 percent Democratic gathering failed to faze the longtime Washington insider and constant companion of Arizona’s richest beer heiress.
“This mood of disunity I feel here on this podium,” he declared, “is the very thing I intend to change by bringing together the energy cartel, the lumber barons, strip mining, Halliburton Inc., Big Pharma, religious fanatics and our dead Iraq heroes into a movement that will crush such dissent like a bug.
“Our soon-to-be-former president has asked me to read his personal message to this entire convention, but I left it on the plane. Anyway, it was something about staying the course — I didn’t have time to read the whole thing.”
Informed that he had crashed a Democratic convention, McCain seemed initially startled but made a quick recovery. “Why do you think they call me a maverick?,” he quipped.
Bruce McCall, a humorist, is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Vanity Fair. He is the author of “All Meat Looks Like South America: The World of Bruce McCall” and “Zany Afternoons.”