Fresno, Calif. — Standing in the middle of the Fresno State Campus, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, John McCain took a moment to answer a question from us on what he has to do to win Western voters.
"I’m a Western senator," McCain said. "I understand the issues ranging from Native Americans to water to public lands–all of these issues I’ve had a vast experience and background in dealing with. I’m confident that I can compete and win here."
This followed a question regarding a bandage on the Senator’s head which he said was the result of hitting his head while exiting a car during a recent trip to Canada which he deemed, "a brush with a low-hanging door."
Rest assured we will continue to guard our noggin as we follow the Senator to Santa Barbara and then Las Vegas during this Western state swing. In the event of a traumatic injury, however, we do accept any kinds of Bengals paraphernalia as get-well gifts, except the chip-and-dip helmet, which, um, we already own.